Memory lost
by donttouch
Summary: Slash, talking about violence, just read it and leave a review? Pretty please? Oneshot.


It feels so strange, watching him, seeing him walking on that sidewalk. Like he's lost something he's desperatly trying to find in that exact area. Step step step step step step turn, step step step step step step turn, and again. And again. He became confused after a while. Step step, stop. He's stopped, like he always do. And then he sits down. Folds his long lanky arms around his knees, dropping his head, resting. Today it's snowing, and I'm afraid he'll catch pneumonia if I let him sit out there anymore. That spot, is where Tony lost his memory. Where he forgot everything. A single gunshot to the head, and he survived, but only barely. When he woke up, he didn't recognize any of us. But after a while, memories of me and him together wandered into his mind, and he remembered me. But not how to eat, walk, talk. That came after a while. Luckily, he knows how to talk and walk, but he still has problems remembering sometimes. Eating, well, his manners aren't great, but they never were before that bastard put a gun in Tony's skull. Tony's up and walking again now, step step step step step step turn, step step step step step step turn. Always the same pattern, from where the perp was standing, to where he himself was standing. Is he wondering how he survived, or if he will ever remember? Tony. My Tony forgot. He forgot it all.

His father visited. I didn't know. It was stupid, really, inviting that prick. He seemed nice. Introduced himself, looked like an older version of Tony, but at the same time, that sly grin of his, I'll always remember. He seemed genuinly concerned about Tony, talked to him. But not about his childhood. At all. Then he started saying things. Small things, like how being a federal Agent was dangerous. I walked into the kitchen, and when I came back, I couldn't believe my ears. That prick told Tony that he had always been useless, and now his brain was destroyed because he was stupid enough to get into law enforcement? I threw him out, turned around, and Tony was looking petrified.

"I remember him" he whispered breathlessly. It turned out it wasn't happy memories, and I finally got an explanation. I had always been wondering why he had those scars on his back. And he told me. Told me about each and every one of them. How his father had scarred him time and time again, about the physical abuse, how his father had beaten him time and time again, broken his bones, pushed him downstairs, through windows, almost killed him on eighteen different occasions. I wish I had never wondered. I wish I didn't know. When he fell asleep that night, I got up, went to the bathroom and threw up, and it suddenly felt like I couldn't stay upright anymore, so I crumbled to the floor, sobbing like a baby. For Tony. For the man he was, for the man he still is. 

Step step step step step step turn, step step step step step step turn. He's still out there. I better go get him and get him into something warmer. Like our bed. As I go outside and look up, I can't help but smile. These snowflakes are just like memories. One by one, they disappear and melt away, never to be thought about again, but if you give it time, and think about them sometimes, they'll lay down like a white blanket, and stay forever. Poor Tony who had his blanket ripped away from him. But it'll be okay. He'll find back to himself. Or maybe not. But it'll be okay anyway. Step step stop. He sits down. here's my chance, and I walk over to him, reaching out my hand. he looks up at me and smiles.

"You watch me from the window?" he asks.

"Every time" I reply. He takes my extended hand, it's cold, and I shiver slightly, "next time, put on a jacket" I say. He doesn't reply, and we walk in silence as the snowflakes fall on our shoulders and melt away. As we get inside, I lead him upstairs, and into bed, sneak into it with him, under the covers. I lay close to him and he sighes.

"I love you Tony" I say.

"Love you too Jet" he replies.

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AN: Leave a review? I'm a little depressed today, so I wrote this.. hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, all hail DPB and his BRAINS!


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